PAMELA SIMMONS COUNSELING /
 RELATIONSHIP COACHING

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Making Love Last

Being married and having children and navigating differences can be challenging. It’s easy to become caught up in “I’m right; you’re wrong” conversations.

The most important and loving thing we can do, is to find a way for both to be right. Finding rightness says “I love you and you matter to me more than my being right.”

When your honey loses his/her keys and is stressing while heading out the door, stop and help find them. I know the temptation is to say, “You always lose your keys. Why can’t you keep up with them?” You get to feel righteous, but at the expense of love. Instead, say, “Wait a minute, I think I saw them.” With a smile and a kiss, give him/her the keys.

It’s also challenging when life brings us surprises like health issues or losses or new babies. This is the most important time to say “I love you no matter what comes our way.”

When the internet, phones, and tv stopped working yesterday; my honey came home with a movie for us to watch and escape the chaos the day brought. I just melted.

Stop yourself when you want to say, “I told you so.” Stop yourself when you want to say, “Doing it my way is better.” Stop yourself when you want to insist that your eating habits, your packing system, your suggestion, your _______ is better.” Instead say, “Is there something you need from me in this moment?”

Take a deep breath and ask, “How can I be helpful in this moment? What’s the most loving thing I can do or say?” Your relationship will be healthier and happier and last longer.

To Your Best Relationship Self,

Pam

Copyright © 2017 Pamela Simmons.